


Am I?

by AceDetective



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sander - Fandom, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders - Freeform, Gen, Virgil-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 19:48:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13864764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceDetective/pseuds/AceDetective
Summary: “How come you spend so much time with the Light Sides, since you’re Dark?”





	Am I?

Anxiety ran from the room after Roman’s outburst. He wiped his eyes as he ran further into the mindscape. He didn’t care where he was going. He just needed to get away. He didn’t notice as the mindscape grew darker around him until he stopped running, his lungs burning from effort.

The preteen sat down and tried to catch his breath as his panic grew. The others would come after him to yell at him more! They hated him! It wasn’t his fault! Thomas couldn’t know if the kids were going to hurt him or not! What if they invited him to hang out to make fun of him? Or ditched him for laughs? Anxiety only wanted to stop Thomas from being hurt!

Someone sat down next to him and led him through a breathing exercise. Once he could breathe, he looked up. His eyes grew wide as he recognized the features of the Side beside him from Roman’s tales. Anxiety scrambled to his feet and stared at the other Side. His breathing hitched in panic.

Danger. He was in danger. He would die. Who would protect Thomas?

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” the other said.

Anxiety shook his head, “Y-you’re the Dragon Witch.”

“Is that what I’m called?” the other boy smirked. “I don’t prefer to be called Deceit.”

Anxiety frowned at the statement. He didn’t? It seemed like he did. Anxiety tried to remember what Roman said about the Dragon Witch. The Dragon Witch loved tricks. This could be one.

Deceit stood from his spot on the ground. If he wanted his plan to succeed, he needed to move Anxiety deeper into his part of the mindscape. The farther they went, the harder it would be for the Light Sides to follow. Deceit could already see how the colors were _absolutely_ not fading from Anxiety’s clothing. His once purple tee-shirt was now grey.

“Your name is Deceit?” Anxiety asked.

“Of course not,” Deceit replied. “Just like yours isn’t Anxiety.”

Realization crossed Anxiety’s face and he nodded. He wasn’t sure how he felt about this Side, but he seemed better than Princey. Anxiety offered a small smile, which Deceit returned.

“We should be friends, I’m much nicer than Princey,” Deceit held out his hand.

Anxiety stared at his hand, unsure of what to think. This was the Dragon Witch. The one Roman claimed to be dangerous for all of them in the light part of the mindscape. Then again, it was Roman. Roman who constantly yelled at him for getting scared and stopping Thomas from doing things that were “fun”. Roman who treated him like the bad guy. Deceit didn’t seem that bad and he wanted to be friends. He talked oddly, but it was his job, like Anxiety made Thomas afraid to do things. Neither of them could help what they were meant to do. In the end, Anxiety knew Thomas was safer from his job, so maybe Deceit’s job made him safer too.

He took Deceit’s hand and smiled, “Friends.”

“How come you spend so much time with the Light Sides, since you’re Dark?” Deceit asked.

“I’m not Dark,” Anxiety frowned at him.

Was he Dark? He formed on the light part of the mind, but the others didn’t like him. Deceit was a Dark Side and he seemed to like him. Did that mean he was supposed to be a Dark Side?

Deceit gave Anxiety’s arm a small tug, “You should totally meet the others. The ones like you.”

“You think I’m Dark?” Anxiety asked.

“Absolutely not!” the other exclaimed.

By now, Anxiety understood that mean Deceit did. Anxiety nodded his head and allowed Deceit to lead him deeper into the darker part of Thomas’s mind.

* * *

 

Anxiety pictured his room in the front of the mindscape. It was closer to the dark part of Thomas’s mind, but still lingered in the front, despite what the other Sides thought. Anxiety closed his eyes and sank down. When he opened his eyes, he was back in his room for the first time in years.

He watched as the room shifted to match his older self. The bed went from a small twin to a full-sized bed. The black cauldron sheets turned entirely black. The entire room became darker. His spider curtains remained the only part unchanged.

He sat down on the bed and glanced at the closed door. He doubted the other Sides knew he was back, not that they would be happy to see him back. If anything, they’d want him gone again. He couldn’t go back though. He wasn’t a Dark Side. Anxiety didn’t belong in either groups, but it was better to be near the Light Sides and hated than to be with the Dark Sides and manipulated.

He didn’t think that the few videos he’d done with them would change anything. As much as he tried to help, he only hurt Thomas. The Light Side wouldn’t care about his intentions, only his means. The debate in the last video helped a bit, but he wasn’t foolish enough to believe Logan liked him now.

Outside his room, he heard Patton’s worried babbling and an anguished cry. His eyes widened, and he stood to go to the door. He stood at the closed door, hesitant to open it. Outside his room, there was danger.

“Roman!” Patton’s voice cracked. “Logan get the first aid kit!”

Anxiety felt Patton’s fear building up. If Roman was hurt, he was hurt badly and needed help. Anxiety’s hand moved and grabbed the doorknob but refused to open it. If he went out there, not only would he be unwanted, but he would be in the way. Logan and Patton needed to focus on Roman, not acknowledging his return.

“The-the Dragon Witch,” he heard Roman struggle to say.

Anxiety’s breath hitched. Deceit hurt Roman this badly? Anxiety knew the two still fought often, but he hadn’t known how serious it was. Deceit always played it off as harmless fun. He should’ve realized the Dark Side meant to hurt Roman. Everything Deceit ever said was a lie.

“Shh. It’s okay, he isn’t here,” Patton cooed to Roman. “We’ve got you.”

Anxiety opened the door and peaked out into the hallway. No one was there, so the three other Sides were in the commons. He stepped out of his room and closed the door, careful to do so quietly. He didn’t want them to know he was here yet, but he wanted to see how badly Roman was hurt. If he was quiet, he could check and get back to his room without anyone seeing him.

“He was asking about Anxiety,” Roman said.

Anxiety stopped walking and leaned against the wall, his heart hammering in his chest. Deceit was probably furious that he left. He’d come after him. He hurt Roman because of him. Anxiety needed to go back. He shouldn’t have left . . .

 “Why’s that kiddo?”

“Apparently, Emo Nightmare decided to leave-” Roman let out a gasp. “Ouch! Logan!”

“I apologize, but the wounds need to be cleaned,” Logan scolded. “Hold still.”

Anxiety pushed off from the wall. He needed to go back. Deceit would be furious, but he’d leave the Light Sides alone and Thomas would be safer. He turned and walked down the hall towards his room. As he walked, one of the floor board creaked and he froze.

“What was that?” Patton asked.

“Stay here,” Roman said.

Anxiety heard the prince struggle to get up and the other two Sides work to hold him down. He didn’t wait to find out who came after him. He ran down the hall and into his room, locking the door behind him. He leaned against the door and slid down to the floor. They knew. They knew he was back. They’d blame him for Roman’s injuries.

Someone knocked on his door, “You in there, kiddo?”

Anxiety scrambled away from the door. He left it locked but stared at it as if it would open.

“Kiddo?” Patton repeated, his voice growing worried.

Anxiety didn’t reply.

“I’m unlocking the door and coming in,” Patton told him. “I’ll stop if you don’t want me here, kiddo.”

Anxiety heard the door click as it unlocked and the door opened to reveal the eldest Side. Anxiety stared at Patton, remembering he had the same amount of power as Deceit. The eldest of the Light Sides just didn’t use his abilities as often. Patton offered a smile as he stepped into Anxiety’s room.

“So you moved back in?”

Anxiety nodded and looked away from Patton.

“You should leave soon, so you don’t get corrupted,” Anxiety brought his knees to his chest.

Patton nodded, understanding the concern, “I’ll be okay. But you should come out too, Anxiety.”

Anxiety shook his head, knowing his sudden reappearance would not go over, considering Deceit attacked Princey over it. Anxiety wasn’t a Dark Side, but he knew that didn’t make him a Light Side.

* * *

 

Anxiety sat down on his bed and pulled out a notebook. He opened it and wrote out the name he gave to the other Sides today. _Virgil._ He smiled down at the paper. He liked it. He’d been considering this name for a while but wasn’t sure about it until they were filming today.

Filming today was different. The Light Sides cared and it was nothing like when the dark Sides claimed the same. It was genuine. When Deceit claimed the same, he meant none of it. He only wanted to separate Virgil from the others, not help him.

“They care _so_ much, Virgil.”

Virgil’s head snapped up to find Deceit standing near his door. He scowled at the older Side and put down the notebook.

“What do you want?” Virgil growled.

Deceit smirked, “I’m just checking on an old friend.”

“Get. Out.”

Virgil stood from his bed and stared down Deceit. Deceit didn’t look worried at all.

“They’re only keeping you happy for Thomas.”

“If that were truth, you wouldn’t be saying it,” Virgil replied.

Virgil wasn’t a kid anymore; Deceit’s lies wouldn’t get to him. He knew better. Deceit’s smirk faltered as he heard footsteps approach Virgil’s door.

“You won’t see me again,” Deceit sank out.

Virgil sat back onto the bed, staring at the spot where Deceit once stood. Patton opened the door to his room and poked his head in.

“You okay in here, kiddo?”

Virgil smiled, “I am.”


End file.
